Curious ... and curiouser. I'm a sub.

Exploring the world of BDSM … well it’s a bit like navigating a vast, quiet ocean. It requires a steady hand, a bit of wisdom, and a whole lot of trust in the person sitting across from you. Since you feel that natural pull toward submission, you’ve already taken the first step: listening to your own heart.

But remember, just because you’re letting someone else hold the map, doesn’t mean you aren’t the one who owns the boat.

Take it slow.

There’s no rush to get where you’re going. Start with the “Big Three” – Safe, Sane and Consensual. It sounds formal, but really, it’s just about looking out for one another. Think of it as the foundation of a house; without it, the rest just won’t stand.

Know your compass.

Before you set sail with anyone else, you’ve got to know your own North Star.

Hard Limits: These are the ‘no-go’ zones. The things that make your soul say ‘not today’.

Soft Limits: The things you’re curious about, but maybe want to test the waters first.

Safe Words: These are your most powerful tools. A “Red” means the world stops right there. No questions, no delays.

Find Your People: You don’t have to do this alone in the dark. There are communities out there – folks who meet up for “Munches” just to talk over a cup of coffee. It’s a fine way to realise that the people in this lifestyle are just that – people. Teachers, librarians, neighbours – all looking for a deeper connection.

The quiet after the storm.
When a scene ends, the world can feel a little heavy or a little distance. We call that ‘aftercare’. It’s the soft landing – a warm blanket, a glass of water, a kind word. It’s how you remind each other that beneath all the roles and the games, you’re both still human.

It’s a beautiful thing to discover who you really are. Just make sure you do it with your eyes wide open. The number one thing is LEARN. Here is a starting point: houseofdasein.com.au/blogs/submissives and houseofdasein.com.au/blogs/starting-out-in-kink