Rules in a new relationship
I have started talking to someone who is a "Dom", we have been speaking for a few weeks and given me some rules. I'm questioning some of the rules for being a bit controlling rather than D/s. How can I tell the difference?
~ Amie
MD
Thanks so much for your email and that is a great question! If you don’t mind me asking, what sort of rules were they? If that is too personal, no need to answer! Our answer below is just general without knowing what they are :)
Consent is key. As it has only been a few weeks, you are both trying to work each other out. So he might put forward rules that he likes but that you are not comfortable with or ready for. If you do not consent to them or do not like something, you should speak up and communicate that respectfully. You could also start a conversation about why he likes that rule to give you some insight into why he asked it.
As we always say at House of Dasein, it should be leading through desire, not force.