Turn it on, turn it off. Play up, play down. All about switches!

For switches, Starting Out -

Turn it on, turn it off. Play up, play down. All about switches!

What is a switch? A switch is someone who loves a little bit of Domming and a little bit of subbing and can do a switcheroo between them!

Topic for switches! : r/bdsm

They may like to play as a bottom/submissive with certain partners or when they are in a certain headspace, and then be a Dominant/Domme with other partners, or that same partner, or just when they are in the Top headspace! You don't need to have equally split sub and Dom personality traits. You might lean more towards one but sometimes be with a partner who brings out the other! It can also change over time based on normal life factors like confidence, physical health, mental health, age, career and experience, and of course who your partner is! Power play depends on who you are with and each person you have a relationship with can have a different dynamic. You might switch and take turns in your couple, or you might have different play partners.

As with all things BDSM, it isn't always used in a sexual context. It is to do with the exchange of power which could be anything from doing chores to ordering your partner around (consensually of course). You might play a complete different role in the bedroom!

How do you know if you might be a switch? Think about what makes you feel good and turns you on! Do you love the idea of being used, spanked, tied up etc but you also love the idea of tying up and pushing your partner onto the bed to do what you want ... then you might be a switch! You should always have lots of communication with your partner to determine what you like and don't like. And be honest!

It can also make you a very well rounded and versatile play partner as you can vary what 'position' you play depending on the vibe and the dynamic between you and a partner. It can also be liberating as you explore different head spaces and fetishes, which can stimulate your creativity!

Educate yourself! You should do a lot of research and learning if you are a switch as you need to be able to play safely as both a Top and a bottom. There are a huge amount of articles and education around being a Dominant and a submissive so read up on all of it.

BDSM switching - the hottest way to do it is kinda like a fight

If you are in a Dom/sub relationship and you have both agreed you would like to try switching, some ideas to start out with and experiment with the dynamic are:

  • Try a different sexual position with the sub on top and in control
  • Have the sub girl use a strap-on
  • The sub can use the Dom's toys to try out flogging or paddling
  • Swap giving commands for saying please and asking for permission
  • Allow topping from the bottom
  • Allow the sub to control the Dom's orgasm
  • The sub can be more bossy and authoritative in play

It is vital to have good communication especially if you are adding some new kinks or dynamics in, and be safe with STI's and having safewords! And make sure you always play with consent. When you are bringing up the conversation, take your time and don't feel rushed and don't apologise for what you are about to say. Calmly and comfortably and confidently begin a discussion about your fantasies and how attracted you are to your partner and how excited you are to explore play in a new style. Allow them to process everything, then talk again!

We recommend starting slowly while you become comfortable in your roles and try new things, and it is completely okay to love some things but not like others. And you don't have to fall into a label of being a typical switch. You can make switching what you want it to be. It is all part of the BDSM journey!

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