Ideas for degradation and humiliation play

** IMPORTANT: This article is not for the feint of heart!

This is a list of many different ideas and while we do not practise many of these acts personally, we, like you, should not judge others for what is consensual and brings them happiness. Judgement has no place in consensual kink.

If you are a sub, how does it feel if your Dom calls you a name like a little filthy slut? Or a selfish dirty toyboy? If you are a Dom or Domme, how does it make you feel to use names or humiliate or degrade your submissive with words or actions?

For those beginning in the world of BDSM or just curious about kink in the bedroom, what comes to mind when you think of humiliation and degradation? All with CONSENT of course! For you does it make you feel pleasure? Is it a punishment? It can change depending on the circumstances as with all things. It depends who it is carried out on and how the act is carried out. It can be a great fun and rewarding (or punishing!) form of BDSM play and we hope this article gives you some great ideas to try!

What is humiliation and degradation?

Humiliation is the act of doing something that causes embarrassment to someone else, like going outside naked. Degradation is when you dehumanise or lower someone, such as making them act like a piece of furniture or an animal. Some acts of degradation can also be humiliating. Humiliation is a mental state and what one person might find humiliating may not humiliate someone else.

Erotic humiliation can be taken to a point where it can be emotionally or psychologically distressing and can be extreme enough to be considered a type of edge play. 

How can you incorporate humiliation and degradation into BDSM?

Slave/submissive training - teaching them to perform certain behaviours

Punishments - correcting unwanted behaviours

Pleasure - maybe it is a pleasure-invoking activity or something they just really enjoy

BDSM scenes - create anticipation and excitement and just add another layer to your play

Is it damaging?

Humiliation and degradation is based on consent. Without consent, it is abuse. It doesn't have to be direct consent in that moment if the partners have agreed to Consensual Non-Consent, but there MUST be consent. Using humiliation and degradation should NEVER be damaging to a sub. It should be discussed ahead of time and the aim should be a positive outcome. It should always be done with consent and should never make a sub feel unsafe, be damaging to their mental wellbeing or trigger them. 

For one submissive, one act might be enjoyable insults whereas other acts might genuinely crush and devastate them, and it is for that reason that consent is so important. BDSM should never be a negative experience. If your chosen activity is going to affect your sub's self-esteem or in fact for any humiliation or degradation play no matter how intense, make sure you have talked about and planned for amazing aftercare so that they know the acts were all in play and that is not how you really feel about them.

Make sure you have worked out safe words so that play can stop or slow down at any time if it gets too much!

Safety issues

When we refer to 'public' humiliation, it still needs to be a private place because the general public cannot consent or might never want to consent to your humiliation/degradation act, not to mention the potential young ages of passers-by! Also, doing kinky acts in public does not help at all and is damaging to the BDSM community's already misrepresented reputation. 

Make sure you are playing safely with being sexually safe (for example, STD tests, trusted partners, contraception).

And make sure the acts do not interfere with or compromise the sub's private life and family dynamic.

IDEAS!

Some of these ideas are suitable just for males, some just for females, but most of them you can adapt for any gender. You will note they are not always sexual because BDSM is all about power play and it can involve many sexual aspects but also non-sexual aspects too.

1. Send them to the supermarket to buy a huge cucumber or eggplant and a bottle of lube.
2. Force a male sub to wear slutty women’s lingerie (force cross-dressing) or a bra under their clothes.
3. Make them eat their own cum.
4. Freeze his cum in an ice cube tray for him to suck on next session.
5. Roll a dice to see how many days they have to go without an orgasm.
6. Have him get a tan while wearing a bikini.
7. Make him go swimming in a women's swimming costume or bikini.
8. Be mean to his penis! Small, flaccid, worthless etc.
9. Make him sit down to pee.
10. Put a 'girly' coloured collar on him.
11. Forbid them from orgasm but make them edge over and over and have them beg but deny them.
12. Wash their mouth out with soap.
13. Forbid him from touching his penis and make him masturbate with a dildo up his ass until he cums.
14. Make them lick the toilet or use their toothbrush to scrub it clean.
15. Make them suck on a butt plug that has been inside them.
16. Make him wear women's perfume.
17. Make a male where a chastity device under clothes.
18. Make him wear high heels.
19. Have them drive naked from the waist down.
20. Make him hump a stuffed animal.
21. Have them watch you have sex with somebody else while you degrade them and make them feel like they will never be as good as who you are fucking.
22. For females, make her go out with no underwear beneath her clothing or wearing a vibrator that you can control.
23. Tie them up outside and leave them there (BE CAREFUL with this one; subs can get distressed at being abandoned and you also need to consider their physical safety like food, water and toileting).
24. Have them go out in embarrassing outfits (ie ordinary clothing but find strange things for them to wear that they would not normally be comfortable in)
25. Force them to masturbate beneath a table while at a restaurant (being very careful because non-consenting public are around).
26. Temporary slave tattoos.
27. Tape sandpaper inside a shirt over the nipples (to stimulate not to damage).
28. Have them carry a doll around, brushing its hair and playing with it.
29. Criticize their body parts.
30. Make them sing a hard song and be a tough critic.
31. Make them talk with a gag in.
32. Have them watch porn and tell you all the things that turn them on.
33. Write phrases or insulting names on their body. You could use terms of ownership which subs love eg. "my slut"
34. Have them become a piece of furniture for your use.
35. Lick the Dom's boots/shoes.
36. Put them in a cage display.
37. Eat from a pet bowl.
38. Don't let them speak to anyone - they can only grunt or make noises or use body language (this type is more acceptable to do in public because it isn't directly 'kinky' and isn't going to negatively affect any members of the public).
39. Make them suck on a pacifier and wear a diaper.
40. Set them a difficult task and tell them all the ways they are failing or doing it wrong.
41. Have them dress up and act like an animal.
42. Cover them in messy foods.
43. Make them eat off the floor.
44. Use piss play.
45. Forbid eye contact.
46. Get cross at them for doing something wrong.
47. Smear lipstick over their mouth and make them go out like that.
48. Call them degrading names or insult them (eg. fat, worthless)
49. Make them repeat what you say (eg. you are a useless dumb slut - I am your useless dumb slut).
50. Insult their accomplishments and intelligence - verbal belittlement.
51. Ignore them. (Be very careful with this as it can be damaging to a sub)
52. Treat them like a child and make them act like a child.
53. Make them beg desperately for something.
54. Spit on them.
55. Make them refer to themselves in the third person with a demeaning title like 'whore'
56. Pour water on their crotch and make them walk around in it.
57. Have them sleep on the floor or under your desk while you work.
58. Fuck them near a window with the blinds open (just make sure innocent people going by will not unsuspectingly view this!)
59. A spanking! Over the knee, over a bench, wherever!
60. Laugh at them while they masturbate.
61. Make them wear a hood.
62. Put makeup on them.
63. Order for them when you go out - they are not allowed to say a word!
64. Only allow them to be fed little bites from her plate at a restaurant.
65. Make them kiss your chair before and after you sit in it.
66. They must ask permission to do anything and everything!
67. Have them wear a cock ring with a very fine thread attached that an be pulled on anytime.
68. Mock and ridicule them.
69. Forced sexual degradation eg. analingus
70. Detailed accountability of what they are doing and how they are behaving.
71. Deprivation of privacy eg. going to the toilet with the door open
72. Cavity check.
73. Having to eat without utensils.
74. Forced exercise.
75. Make them wear underwear that you have urinated on.
76. Have them stand in a corner.
77. Wear cum on their face without wiping it (in private).
78. Undress in front of others.
79. Share them sexually with another Dominant/Domme.

*** These articles have been written by people from their perspectives and personal experiences.
Please excuse the references to Dom, Domme, he, she etc....
Simply put, if you're focusing on that you are missing the entire point of the article and the kink value of acceptance. ***