For female submissives and as women, our breasts are an important part of who we are. They come in all shapes and sizes and, for most women, we love what we have! They can be involved in all sorts of BDSM play: touching, pinching, biting, licking, impact play and rope bondage. So what happens when a female submissive becomes one of the 7 women diagnosed with breast cancer in their lifetime? What happens when a young submissive becomes one of the 1000 young women diagnosed with breast cancer each year? What can we do about it?

BE AWARE AND CHECK YOUR PAIR!

Your life turns upside down in a heartbeat! You will have fear of death, fear of recurrence after your treatment finishes and you will be on an intense emotional rollercoaster that doesn't seem to have a finish line. There is also the physical turmoil - do you just get the cancer out and have smaller scars or do your doctors say you need to get them all off! Then do you go flat or do you get reconstructions - and how will you feel about yourself and how does your partner feel? Once you finish treatment, you will wonder how on earth you can ever go back to normal, and come to accept that you now have a new normal. And among all the sad, scary, emotional times, you will feel ever so grateful to be alive. You will treasure those special people in your life who mean the most to you! You will see a sunset and smell the fresh air and be so happy to see and feel that. And if you are one of the lucky ones, you will look back on your cancer journey in twenty years time and be proud of the way you got through it and went on to live an amazing life!

There is not much written about BDSM and cancer. We know people with disabilities can be in very happy D/s relationships, and so can people who have gone through cancer. This article will focus on some of the challenges faced by those going through breast cancer, and the aim is also to raise awareness, so that if thousands of women ever read this article and once finished reading, they go and feel their breasts, more lumps will be found earlier and lives will be saved.

Schedule regular breast checks into your life! Once a week in the shower, feel yourself all over. Put your arm in the air and feel again. Or turn it into some sensual time and get your Dominant to sensually feel you! At the first sign of a lump or anything not right, IMMEDIATELY make yourself an appointment to get it checked. If their appearance has changed, for example with nipple changes or changes to your skin, IMMEDIATELY make an appointment to get it checked! 

BE OBSESESED
WITH FEELING YOUR BREASTS!

Eat healthily, play lots, exercise well, don't smoke and drink in moderation!

This goes for men as well as breast cancer in men is also possible.

Kinky play and sex during cancer treatment

Seek medical advice and always, when in doubt, ask your medical professionals! But for most people, you can continue to have sex after your diagnosis. Communicate with your Dominant about any physical issues. For example, avoid enemas and anal sex while going through chemotherapy to avoid infections. Stay away from impact play (unless it is incredibly light) during chemotherapy as your platelets will be low and you will bruise too easily. If you are too exhausted and achy or just plain old feeling sick during treatment, communicate that! There will be other things you can do. 

The treatments for breast cancer can cause a low desire for sex, although that definitely doesn't happen to everyone, especially if you are a submissive with cravings to sexually please and serve your Dominant!

Your mouth may be too sore for oral sex, but talk to your nurses about solutions for that because you don't have to suffer.

Your vagina can change as chemotherapy can induce menopause or temporary menopause. This can be a hard one to deal with ... suddenly now you have a shrunken and dehydrated vagina! When you feel up to it, breathe and relax and start with small vibrators. Masturbation can help as can vaginal moisturisers and lots of lubricant! Speak to your nurse or oncologist before using a vaginal moisturiser as if you have a hormone positive type of breast cancer, these may not be suitable for you. Most importantly, communicate! If your pain with penetration is intolerable, maybe you can incorporate some little vibrators into your scenes and work your way up. Or maybe it will feel like an amazing pain to you because it is pain coming from your Dominant and not from cancer or its treatment! If pain continues, please speak to a doctor as they will have options to help you. 

You may have body image issues whether due to the effect of chemotherapy and radiation on your body (ie. hair loss, weight gain, red skin, hair growth after chemo/steroids) or scars and a changed body due to surgery. Be patient with yourself and be kind to yourself. And try to love your new you and be confident. You might find looking in the mirror by yourself is a challenge but when you are with your Dominant you feel sexy and like yourself because you know you are always his. And give it time because getting through a brutal cancer treatment is an accomplishment and you should feel proud that you have gotten through it!

And kinky play is important! While you may not be able to do the same level of play that you used to while your body recovers, in time you will, so be patient and use the time to get so excited for when your big plays can happen again. Once your body has had time to recover and you can play in a more kinky way, use BDSM to add pleasure to your existing pain, for example if you continue to have breast pain. Or use it as a way to experience 'good pain' that you are consenting to, as opposed to all the pain from cancer and its treatment that you NEVER wanted but had anyway.

Just be careful with breast bondage and avoid very tight harnesses and suspension involving your breasts, particularly if you have had surgery or reconstruction or even skin changes with radiation. Also avoid heavy impact play over your breasts if you have had surgery, or to be extra cautious, avoid hitting them altogether.

Also be aware of what physical limitations you face over the course of your treatment and as your body recovers in the months to years afterwards. If you have neuropathy in your feet, maybe you can have a fun task of modifying submissive positions if you can't manage what you used to. Take care when playing if it affects your balance or movement as you don't want any pain from accidents when playing; you want pain from your Dominant! You could try more gentle types of play as you go through changes in your body.

CANCER IS THE LOWEST OF PITS
DON'T FORGET TO CHECK YOUR TITS!

BIG OR SMALL
SAVE THEM ALL! 
But more importantly, find it early and save lives!

No matter what type of cancer you have had or what treatment you have had, no matter what shape or size you end up, you are beautiful inside and out. You can still be the sexual submissive that you were before! Your scars, emotional and physical, will make you stronger and will be a reminder to look after yourself. It's okay to have bad days and not feel strong. BDSM is such a positive way to help yourself heal afterwards. And you and your Dominant can have fun exploring brand new ways to play while you go through your treatment and navigate the changes to your body afterwards. But always you are still you! And how wonderful will it feel to get past this point in your life ... and get marks and bruises from your Dominant again!

~ Master's lovely