What Does Being Owned Mean To Me?

(Original article from https://thesubmissionmission.wordpress.com/2013/09/05/what-does-being-owned-mean-to-me/)

Being Owned.

Sounds silly when you really think about it. Like I’m some piece of furniture or property; like I was bought only after someone analyzed my specs and decided I was worth the purchase.

Owned

I guess that’s the literal sense of the word. Perhaps coming from my education the word ‘owned’ means that very idea of being bought and sold. Perhaps it’s what I think other people, those not in the lifestyle, will think when they hear it.  But it means so much more than that.

When I think about what it means to me to be owned it’s so simple and so complicated. It’s really twofold.

When I began entering in to the bdsm world and d/s I saw being owned as being property. A phrase people used when in scenes to signify the power exchange. To signify the fact that you have chosen to given up your control and therefore choose to give up that right – you are owned.

Since my Master and I have been together my opinion on what it means to be owned has changed significantly.

When I began searching for a dominant I was extremely picky. I don’t trust easily and I don’t care or love easily either. I ruled a number of people out because I knew I couldn’t trust them, or they didn’t have the right motives, experience, temperament or ego. I didn’t want a know-it-all and I didn’t want a complete newbie either and I certainly didn’t want an egotistical guy with real or fake experience. Immediately when people hear the word picky they sometimes think ‘shallow’ but my pickiness was really about finding someone I felt was safe, sane and consensual so that I could build trust to allow myself to experience my submission. Because of this, the notion of being owned means I have found someone I felt I could allow myself to experience my submission with and through. I have found someone I trust implicitly, someone I care for deeply and someone I want to hold the title and responsibility of owning me.

Being owned is this ultimate sense of security. I feel safe in my ownership. When I hear my Master say he owns me I’m flooded with a sense of peace and contentment. My life is busy and has its own elements of stress and frustration but when I hear that phrase everything washes away, the stress and the frustration is gone and all I’m left with is utter security, contentment and happiness. I feel at home. Like there isn’t any other place in the world I’d rather be because everything I need is provided for.

Independently we can provide for ourselves. We are as human beings able to work for a wage to provide shelter, food, basic necessities. We can easily be self-sufficient and provide for our most basic needs. But we cannot provide the security, happiness and contentment that comes from sharing in a committed loving relationship.

My Master and I don’t live together and therefore we aren’t married or engaged. For right now I feel that being Owned is a sense of commitment. All we have in our relationship is honesty, trust and communication. What we have is what we say to each other. Right now we have committed to exactly that: being honest with each other to continually build trust while opening ourselves up in some of the most vulnerable areas of our lives and keeping each other together through continual communication; we are committed to working together through everything, to not throwing in the towel because things get tricky.

Being owned says I accept you. I accept all your flaws.

Having someone tell you they own you means they want to own you. It means they accept you and they are willing and committed to owning you. There is responsibility in deciding to own someone and the understanding is therefore that they accept and want this commitment.

When I hear this phrase every insecurity and vulnerability washes away and I’m filled with the desire to fulfill. I feel confident. For once I feel like I have purpose. I have a place. I have a place that’s desired by someone other than me. I feel like I have a place and a purpose.

Relationships are work. They are mutual work and a lot of it. But my submission is an opportunity for me to selfishly escape from my life and my work and journey back into myself and give me something I want. My submission is putting me first and I feel guilty in making that decision, I feel guilty in having someone else fulfill my desires and assist in providing me me – it is a luxury. Being owned works to eliminate the selfish guilt I feel because being owned means you want this just as much as I do.

What does being owned mean to me?

It means I am cared for and respected. It means I am loved. It creates in me a sense of security and contentment like no other. It allows me to journey into my submission. To face some of the scariest things I have in my closet because it allows me to open my body and my mind to the deepest of vulnerabilities. It allows me to trust, even blindly. It allows me to trust that together we will tear each other down and will work to build each other back up. It means we are committed to us- to communicating and trusting through honesty. It means we say all the hard things and we discuss all the scary things together. It means I’m safe. It means I have a purpose.

This feeling of being owned is directly attributed to the environment my Master has created and the way he makes me feel. Without him, being owned would not be the same. Being owned would be degrading but with him being owned feels like the greatest honor I’ve been bestowed. Because of him I feel confident, safe, and purposeful. Because of him I am content and happen. I feel owned.