Basics of Consent in BDSM (SSC/RACK/PRICK/CNC)
BDSM is all about consent and playing safely. BDSM is not abuse! It will be different for everybody, whether you negotiate complete specifics beforehand to consent to every single thing that will happen in your scene, whether you agree generally on what you consent to, or even if you consent to non-consensual play! Negotiations depend on each person and vary greatly. They will also evolve from someone playing once-off with a partner to those in full D/s relationships where there is a fully trusting bond.
There are different philosophies of consent that BDSM players use; the most common being SSC.
SSC (Safe, Sane and Consensual)
- Are our kinky fuckery plans safe to do?
- Is it a sane thing to do?
- Do we both/all consent to it?
This is a great starting point for conversations, although what one person thinks is 'sane' might be different to the other party's opinion! I am not a big fan of the 'sane' concept. A lot of what Master and I do might not be considered sane by anyone else but do I want to do it? Hell yes! Being in a safe long-term D/s relationship together, for me it mostly comes down to safety and I trust my Master with my life to keep me safe. Yes, we might do things that other people would consider risky but do I ever feel unsafe with Him? Never ever! So with the ambiguous questions that come from the SSC concept, many BDSM players prefer RACK with a bit of PRICK.
If you find that SSC is very limiting because of trying to define what is safe and what is sane, you might like to consider other methods of discussing consent.
RACK (Risk Aware Consensual Kink)
This is perhaps a more specific set of questions if you disagree on what is scene and SSC is not for you!
Risk Aware - are you aware of the risks involved and how to prevent any risks
Consensual - does everybody know what is about to happen and consent to it?
Kink - whatever awesome kinky BDSM thing you are about to do!
PRICK (Personal Responsibility, Informed, Consensual Kink)
Quite self-explanatory, this just means you take responsibility for what will happen, are aware of what will happen and consent to whatever you are about to do.
CNC (Consensual Non-Consent)
This is basically where complete consent is given and the Dominant can make the sub obey even if she refuses to do it. It might not be as complex as a rape scene (which is what a lot of people think of when talking about CNC), but as simple as their Dominant wants to do something the sub doesn't want to do, but at the end of the day they still want to serve their Dom and be used so they love it and want it even when they don't want it.
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Perhaps you like one philosophy of consent or perhaps you take a bit out of all of them. The key word in all is CONSENSUAL. Just be aware of and agree to what is going to happen and play safely and have fun. Embrace and enjoy everything your D/s relationship brings to your life!
